This is first my „real“ attempt at erotic writing, started at Other Nature’s writing workshop. And no, it is not autobiographic ;-).
Content warning: exlicit language :-).
Two Strange Hippies
Tina, February 2013
Carla started to get bored, again she was the only person in a skirt on the party and, of course, the only trans woman – at least that she knew of. But at least the music was alright, it moved her hips and that was the main thing, it helped her to feel like a woman.
Just when she had thought about checking the time and possible ways to get home, wide colorful hippie pants caught her attention at the corner of her eyes. Through the fog on the dancefloor, she saw a tall woman, maybe in her thirties. She didn’t move a lot, but every movement was perfectly timed and showed self confidence. This woman was completely at home in her body and Carla shrank in her mind when she started comparing herself to her.
Britta hadn’t been to a queer party in a long time. In fact, the last time she had been to a party like that, was when they were still called woman’s parties or lesbian parties. But even with job, partner and house she had been able to keep up-to-date about feminist and queer issues, at least theoretically. The practice now, didn’t look so bad either, except that she didn’t understand why „queer” definitely had a dress code and almost everybody was at least ten years younger than her. But then there was this strange tall creature who was more her age and also didn’t look like the rest of the crowd, so she decided to take a closer look.
The person looked quite out of place, standing at least one head taller than all the people around her, and looking like she hadn’t had her current gender for a long time. But on the other hand she was a lot more feminine than most of the crowd and moving rather graceful and ladylike, well, as much as was possible to do with a body that seemed to best suited for chopping wood.
Suddenly the person seemed to realize that Britta was watching her, after a quick glance in her direction a shiver seemed to be running through her body and it appeared to Britta that shrank a little into herself. Her dancing caught an edgy awkwardness and Britta got angry at this effect. What was going on there? So she went over and asked her
“Hey, what’s wrong, do I look so dangerous?”
“No, I just feel so small compared to you.”
Britta looked up to her and said
“Well, you’re definitely not short, what do you mean by small?”
“You see, you’re so much of a real woman and I only try to be one and sometimes I don’t even qualify for my own standards sometime, let alone those of others.”
Britta got even more angry at these thoughts.
“Ah, forget it, I saw you move before you saw me, and I know that you are a lady and you can’t convince me otherwise.”
Britta moved closer and Carla wasn’t quite sure what to think of it because Britta had a very angry look on her face, but at the same time Carlas knees got week and it felt that she would get wet if her body had been able to. She had to lean against something and found the pillar where her bag was at the bottom. Britta followed her and her angry expression changed into a mischievous smile. Apparently she was aware of what was going on with Carla. Now it felt to Carla as if Britta was on top of her, which technically couldn’t quite be because Carla was still standing and looking down on Brittas hair, but it definitely felt that way and it felt good, real good.
A knee tried to find its way between Carla’s leg and Carla gave it its required space. She liked the sensation, especially since it was a knee, or now a thigh, because it’s hard to touch her in uncomfortable ways with a thigh. This feeling of security made her let go and she let out a sigh. Britta grabbed her head and kissed her and she slipped even further down the pillar. She held on to Britta and the whole construction became more stable. The thigh started rubbing her between her legs and fortunately missed the parts that would have hurt by that.
Carla felt that she was melting away, but this this wasn’t the right place for it, she needed more peace and time to explain things. So at the next kissing break she plucked up her courage and whispered in Britta’s ear
“I’d really like to continue, but I need a more quiet place for that.”
“Well, my house is big and quiet, would you like to come with me?”
Carla was thinking for a moment, this was going rather quick and she wasn’t sure where she’d end up here.
“Ahm, I’d like to, but where is your house?”
“Don’t worry, it’s still close to the subway.”
That was ok for Carla, also because she didn’t have any urgent plans for tomorrow, so they agreed on leaving together. They both still had to pee before going and Britta looked questioning at Carla when she went through the other door, but Carla just shrugged. If it was important to Britta there would be another time to explain the little complications of trans live.
Being out in the cold and then in the bright neon light of the subway station kicked both of them out of their dreamy (well, not only that) mood, but fortunately the attraction stayed. They sat close together on the slippery fake leather subway seat. Carla tentatively held Brittas hand, but Britta deftly took it with both hands and put them in her lap. This reassurance made Carla melt a little and she lent into Britta’s shoulder, carefully avoiding to slide away with her butt.
The ride took a while and after a while they started sharing about their life situations. Britta had just been left by her long time lover who had gone on to a relationship with a man and was already pregnant, after Britta and her had spent years planning and organizing for their future children. That’s why she had this big house – big enough for children as well – all to her own, which also felt rather sad and made her want to move to a smaller place closer to the city center.
Carla had been living “as a woman” for several years now and also had been single for most of that time. Sharing this was hard for her, she didn’t want to appear needy and with a careful decision had left out the cotton ceiling talk, especially since she held the proof that this wasn’t always true in her hand. But still, it became very clear to Britta that Carla was in a very special situation right now and she definitely didn’t want to destroy it, even though she didn’t quite know what to worry about.
For some reason Britta couldn’t quite grasp at the beginning, Carla didn’t mind the stares she got from the other subway passengers. Well, maybe she was so used to them that it didn’t bother her anymore. Or did she not see it? Britta was already getting uncomfortable, even though they were rarely staring at her. When there was a particular obnoxious group of young men whispering and looking in Carla’s direction, Britta felt a light squeeze of her hand, and she realized that Carla wasn’t unphased by what happened around her.
After they had left the subway station Britta asked Carla about it.
“Well, you kind of get used to it.” Carla said, “in fact, it bothers me more if someone calls me ‚He‘ than when people get confused by a ‚man in a dress‘. With that I know it’s their problem, if they can get uncomfortable so easily.
“Usually it would get to me after a while, but when I am around people who talk to me like I am a regular human being, I’m alright”.
And with that she squeezed Britta’s hand once more.
Then they got to Britta’s house and Carla felt like Pippi Longstocking had grown up and this was her house. What she could see of the house and garden in the dark was very colorful and had a playful air to it. There was a little pond in the garden and from somewhere she heard wind chimes.
Inside there were a lot of colors as well, but Carla could also see that someone with practicality in mind had arranged everything. The fact that there wasn’t too much stuff sitting around made her eyes relax and that there weren’t a lot of expensive things that could break helped her body relax as well.
“Would you like to drink something or would you rather continue our playing right away.”, Britta asked.
“Ahem, I feel more like playing right now.” Carla wasn’t going to take any risks to loose this opportunity.
So Britta led her upstairs to a cave-like bedroom, all covered in pine wood. It smelled distinctly like a mountain hut. It reminded Carla of good times out in the mountains, with no people to worry about, so she relaxed some more and held Britta close. Britta carefully guided her down to the bed and they started to cuddle and kiss. Soon Carla’s breasts demanded attention, so she took off her top. Britta looked at them for a moment, slightly confused. Maybe because they were rather small and teeny-like or maybe because they were there at all. But Carla didn’t want confusion, she wanted touch, so she said “Hey, don’t worry, you can play with them.”. And so Britta did, and she knew what to do, judging by the deep groaning coming out of Carla’s mouth.
Carla’s legs wanted to open up more and more and Carla let them. Britta’s thigh was again between them, doing wonderful things. But Carla wanted more.
“Please fuck me”, she whispered in Britta’s ears.
“But I don’t know, how.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll show you, just don’t milk me and don’t try to give me an orgasm, you won’t notice anyways if I have one.”
“Erm, okay,” Britta blushed a little, “but first let’s get rid of all these layers.” So they removed what Carla was still wearing, starting with her skirt and including something Carla called a binder even though Britta couldn’t make the connection, she had only vaguely heard about binders for trans men and as far as she knew, they looked different. Britta used the opportunity to get rid of her clothing as well, causing growing excitement in Carla. She tried very hard not to look too long at the same exciting part.
“Please excuse my question, do you have gloves?” Carla asked.
“No, sorry, you know we were monogamous and long term and stuff…”
“Ok, you can use mine. They might be a bit big, but it’ll do.”
Carla enjoyed the climb over Britta to grab her bag and hand her the gloves.
“Hej you said you haven’t had sex for more than a year, why do you carry gloves?”
“Well, that’s how long I’ve been carrying them around, hope they are still good. And please use lots of this!”, handing her a bottle of lube.
It took them a bit to get back into things after all these technicalities, but they enjoyed their now naked bodies very much so that it wasn’t to hard. Carla enjoyed Britta’s curves and strength while Britta was rather intrigued by Carla’s angular frame, combined with a very soft skin. Britta’s one thigh was still between Carla’s legs while Britta’s privates made good use of Carla’s hipbone.
But Britta wanted to do something pleasurable with her gloved hand.
“So now, show me!”
“See, this is my clit”, Carla said, pointing at the tip of her penis, “it moves around quite a bit, but that will stop after a while. Just press it against my body so it will stay put.”
So she showed her how to rub her clit, especially the extra sensitive part around the frenulum, and how she liked her shaft to be stroked and pressed against her body at the same time. Britta tried it out and after attempts where Carla’s clit had slipped away (Britta had also used Carla’s suggestion about the lube), they got into a good rhythm, even though Britta had to abandon her pleasure spot at Carla’s hip bone and was now straddling her thigh, which didn’t provide quite as much sensation. But then again, she needed all her concentration to keep Carla’s clit in place.
Carla drifted off into some dream land, one in which she had a cunt and everyone saw her as a woman, without question. And that cunt got excited more and more and wanted to be filled and touched from the inside. Alas, there was this little problem of physical non-existence. But nevertheless, something had to do be done about it.
“I want to feel you inside me!” Carla almost screamed.
“But how?” Britta panted back.
“Don’t know, maybe try the back door, but don’t let go of my clit!”
Britta was faced with some difficulties she wasn’t used to. Her usual grip, thumb on clit and some of the other fingers in vagina, wasn’t going to work. In this case, orifice and pleasure spot were just too far apart. Which meant she needed another glove since she didn’t know what might come out of this peculiar clit and she definitely wanted one for the other job. She managed to get this task done, almost without losing touch of the clit, only once she had to resort to her knee. Whenever she checked Carla’s facial expression, she seemed to still be doing rather well, all the action hadn’t kicked her out of dream land. Using another blob of lube she slowly tried to open Carla’s back door while still keeping the movement on Carla’s front parts going. She could see Carla wanting to open up, stretching her legs as wide as they would go, and even though she could feel the sphincter relaxing, something was still missing.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
“Don’t know if it works, but can you touch me here?”, Carla answered, pointing with some difficulty to her perineum.
“Ok, I’ll try.” So her magic grip came in handy after all. When her thumb touched the soft spot just below Carla’s little balls, that felt surprisingly similar to labia, it was like pushing a button. Her other finger went in right away and Carla let out a deep moan. Some more massaging at this special spot got Carla shivering all over her body and suddenly Britta heard screaming that didn’t quite sound human anymore. Boy was she glad they were alone in the house, neighbors might have called the police. After that, Carla seemed to relax, and was finally getting wet a bit, which didn’t seem to be of much use anymore.
“Don’t tell me I won’t notice your orgasms!” Britta said.
“Well, never had anything like that before. Thank you so much!” Carla hugged Britta and they lay next to each other, cuddling and caressing each other. Carla shivered a little and Britta wasn’t sure whether she might be crying.
“Are you ok?”, she asked.
“Yes, I feel great”, Carla said, sobbing a little, “it’s just that this was probably my first real female orgasm ever. This is unbelievable, I really felt you fucking my pussy. Thank you, thank you. But … you had all the work, what can I do for you?”
“You know what? I think we’re both exhausted, and I really need some time to process this. This was very new for me, too. How about we continue in the morning?”
And with that, they went to sleep, each in their own dream land.
I don’t think I even have hope of meeting my special girl while still pre-op, but that was beautiful!